Sonnet 37

  • Even though my sun don't shine, purple clouds stray,
  • At the beckoning of an unbecoming self,
  • The overwhelming fear that there's nothing left,
  • Set, and beset, a violet wave roams this way.
  • In rhythmic motion, through the stillness and the dark,
  • Past the failed semblance of comfort and belonging,
  • A collection of thumps, beats, momentous sparks,
  • Pumping a soul that only yearns for yearning.
  • And in that burning, the fire this hand could only turn,
  • The charred, a series of emotions well departed,
  • The flip, a blank record to score and burn,
  • At last, the return of a forever restarted.
  • Past rejections avail man the chance to grow,
  • But without learning, success stays solely in tow.

Notes

Finally, after two years.

On yet another trip abroad, alone, where my only goal is to contemplate. It's taken awhile for anything resembling past Huys to return, but it finally has. Unexpected but very welcome.

Sitting in homey cafe (literally, that's the name of the place) in Taipei on a gloomy night, an unfamiliar moment occured whilst listening to "Fireman (Flip)" by CoryaYo (a Lil Wayne mashup that popped up in my Spotify Discover Weekly, after having listened a ton of Lil Wayne so far this trip). That moment is what I'm attempting to capture here.

So whipping out my Pilot Vanishing Point fountain pen, pure black ink, and a long forgotten blue Leuchterm1917 notepad, I started to write. As per my prior half, words just came out. And what's above is ~85% of what's on the paper (I had to change a few lines to make more sense/sound better).

I did have some inspiration, which I won't remark on here, but a fair number of the metaphors are in reference to said inspiration, as I normally do. This, coupled with a long period of general unhappiness, are normally requisite for me to be able to recall any semblance of my writing self. And "momentous" is a callback to Sonnet 23, as the conditions underwritten in that piece reminds me of this one.

Technically still not following any specific sonnet rules (afford me that until I'm revived, if ever). Rhythm is quite good, everything flows, I'm quite happy with the heroic couplet despite it's simplicity.

— Huy on