Sonnet 26
- I can't wait to have that feeling back
- I can't wait
- I can't wait to have that feeling back
- I really can't wait
- That mental sedate
- That emotional stain
- That cloddish contemplate
- Exacting anxiety's sustain
- Credibility paused
- A shameful grace
- Credibility lost
- A frameless chase
- This cloud does not exist
- I've been sitting in the rain
Notes
The first bit of rain in the Bay Area this Winter prompted sporadic bits of self-reflection throughout the day. An impressive collection of meanderings fraught with disenchantment and idleness, amended by the 3 hours of sleep the night prior and needless amounts of ambling through the rain. So I needed to write something down.
Not a structurally sound sonnet whatsoever, wasn't in the mood, but still retains the three quatrains and a couplet format. The first two quatrains can be read in a variety of ways depending on how you interpret "that", whether the three uses reference the same subject or not. Yet it all leads into the same pattern of turmoil: mental fatigue leading into emotional strain, then a clumsy reproach bound by paralyzing anxiety.
This chase has persisted despite repeated failures, to the point where I'm basically flailing my arms without any real goals. And the logical conclusion is that the dream cannot exist and I've just been wallowing in its illusory rain all this time.
However, the hunt will continue. Never giving up. Never.
— Huy on